First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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