mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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