his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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