We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
