okay pat passed out under dana's car
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
