they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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