the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
