everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Dick very happy bro
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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