im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
