At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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