my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
