I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You smell like stripper and shame
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I checked into jail on foursquare
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
