is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
