On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
