I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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