oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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