there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
