rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
