At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize