she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
