Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Still dying that you shit outside
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
