i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
two words: eviction party
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
