Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
