I cannot find my penis.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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