there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
