But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
