I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
