..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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