i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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