O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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