Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
