So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
