your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So vagazzling was a success
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
