I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
