I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
