Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize