Tell her she can't have a vagina
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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