Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
