Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
