I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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