and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
