so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
