halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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