I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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