is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
