its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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