I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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