Barsexuality is the new black.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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