so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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