my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
