mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
