"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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